Re-Thinking Self-Care in 2019

At the beginning of 2018, I was pitiful in self-care. Most days, I’m caring for my family from 7am - 9 pm. Some days, this means no breaks if the twins don’t take naps (which is often). Once 9pm hit, I was so tired, mentally and physically that my brain couldn’t squeeze in any additional ounce of energy for writing, pleasure, creativity or pillow talks with my husband. It was likely that I would crash in my clothes on top of my bedroom comforter or on the living room couch.

When the weekend comes, I’m hungry for adult interaction, socialization, time with my husband, hours to read and/or write and a few hours kid-free. As the term self-care rose to the height of trendiness, I found myself radiating towards a movement that made caring for yourself just as important (if not more) as caring for those you love and have a responsibility for. I scurried to schedule nail appointments, trips, massages and any other “luxuries” I felt I was depriving myself of in order to gain a slither of peace. But sometimes doing those things put me in a deficit financially because I was overcompensating for not placing value on my own personal time. I’ll admit that sometimes I was doing things to prove to my partner or my kids that “Hey look at me! I’m on a trip! I’m important to me!” instead of trying to understand what I really needed. I now understand that self-care doesn’t require all of those things.

Here are some reminders I’ve tried to give myself. I hope they are helpful for you!

  1. It’s not that deep. Find self-care moments in your everyday life. It’s enough to take 30 minutes for a long, hot bubble bath. Or, a 10 minute uninterrupted phone call with your friend or mom or a simple conversation with your partner. Or, 15 minutes lingering in the car before you enter your home. See those things as self-care too. I was missing that and not honoring the complete picture of the time I took for myself.

  2. It’s ok to schedule self-care moments, but it’s not a requirement. We all don’t have the time or resources for nail appointments or massages. Honestly, I couldn’t always afford those things. It’s nice to do those things but don’t limit yourself.

  3. Be consistent. Once you have found the things that make you feel good, rinse and repeat. Don’t forget yourself. Be kind to yourself, over and over again.

  4. Check yourself. Are you measuring self-care practices against your friends? Your mother? People on social media? I was. And still do sometimes. When you are honest, start back and #1 and begin again.

I’m excited about my journey of wellness for 2019. Here more about that on my Instagram post. What did you learn about self-care in 2018? How does it look different for you in 2019?